(Shayne and Beth left to right.)The past couple days I have thought of my friend Beth. I have thought about where I went wrong with her during high-school. I have thought, that maybe, if I listened more than judged, she'd be better off. I suppose as we are so alike, I feel as though I have betrayed her in my thoughts back then... She and I were two lost souls in a world that didn't want our problems. We didn't want our problems. And little did we know our problems were outcries, meant to be heard and cared for; not swept under the rug and ignored...
I think sadly on her now. Not in a pitiful way. In a way that... I wish I'd have just been wiser, just been more understanding, had my head a little less shoved up my own ass. That I had listened a little more and talked a little less. She needed someone to listen, not advice. Someone that would have just hugged her and told her she was who she was, and not tell her she needed to change or help herself. Granted, we both needed plenty of help, but in our
states of mind, we needed true, unconditional love. That which would embrace us, not shame us. Would smile gently and hold closely like a loving mother her dearest child.
I suppose I look back with regret... I suppose I feel the urge to call her, and tell her all of this, and await her reply, "What the hell are you talking about, Jo?" And mine, "Oh... Nothing... How are you?"
Ah well... Time will see what happens next...
~The Queer Observationalist
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